House of People

 Dealing with loss at any time is difficult. Dealing with multiple losses in a short period of time is much  harder. Dealing with losses when you can't say a proper goodbye is downright devastating. I lost two friends, Bill Cole, N2CSA, a Cape May County ham radio operator and mentor and Mike  Ross, a member of the Cape May Veterans Home Association, two days apart. I knew them well enough to say they were friends. Like just about everything else these days, mourning takes on a whole new meaning, but I still mourn


First to Bill I actually emailed him a few times before moving to Cape May because a mutual ham friend suggested I have a local contact if I needed help with anything radio related. Bill was also in charge of Cape May  County RACES, which was definitely a good sign. He informed me the City of Cape May didn't have a radio officer and someone from the county was driving to the Cape May firehouse o-nce a month to do the test. I asked him if I could assist Bill's reply was I had the position and I have been doing it ever since, well most months.  Along with some of the other members of the Cape May Amateur Radio Club, Bills has taken me under his wing. They all welcomed me on the air, when I can get one the air. Bill's wife Peggy, W2PEG, was always right by his side.

While I was trying to comprehend Bill's passing, I found out that a member of the Veteran's  Home Association, Mike Ross passed away. Mike and his wife Gayle lived in Pennsylvania and have a residence  in Cape May. He was a carpenter in Philly which meant  he had a million stories, some of which I almost believe!!When I first saw him, a balding head and with thin glasses I immediately thought of Ben Franklin. His short stature and bit of a belly enhanced the image. Mike was a wiseguy and like everyone else  in the VFW, he never cut me any slack. I forget the exact context of the conversation, but Mike said something that rubbed me the wrong way. I jokingly asked Gayle how she could ever marry him? She just laughed and replied it wasn't easy. Mike replied "Then go live with Justin then!"  Since then it was a running joke between the three of us ever since. 

As I deal with these two losses a few things come to mind.   I lost three friends  plus a teacher I cared about from high school before I turned thirty. I have lost my grandparents and two people who I consider my third set of grandparents. When these losses happen, I turn to my writing to help me cope and understand loss is a part of life, and life goes on.  Although instead of saying the traditional "They are all in heaven looking down on me" I say they all are waiting for me in my house. At first I thought one room but a house makes more sense because everyone in the house I know from a different aspect of my life. It's not a big house or anything fancy but there's a room enough   every one I care about  The rooms are different sizes based on how well I knew the person, however the rooms are free flowing.  For example Stephen, Tommy and Derick's rooms would be connected. Of course the room George Fusco would be in would be a replica of his store/. Bill Cole and Mike Adams room would look like a combined Ramsey and Cape May EOC. The room for Dave Kuehn would be a license plate museum. I think Aunt Millie's room would be a writing study and library.  The room for my mom's parents would be just like the family room in their house. So many rooms

I miss everyone I know who  has passed on. I think a handful are always looking out for me. Most have other people who need them more. A few are shaking their heads, some in amazement, others in disappointment. Whatever I hope that one day I will see them all again....until then this is another "Mattes Musing"!